Happiness Lived

I had no idea I would fall so hard.  I am bubbling over, giddy, with happiness.

Honestly, I had forgotten how cotton-pickin' scary giving your heart away can be.  I feel stripped naked, exposed, and totally vulnerable.....and it scares me.  Yet,  I know life is meant to be lived.  Chance can be worth it.  And sitting protected, in a safe cocoon, will not enhance my happiness now, nor in the future.

And so I bare my  heart, my stories, and my emotions, to wave in the winds of change and chance.

Sometimes a stronger force can catch you as you fall, and carry you away to unthinkable dreams.

The Spring of Something Beautiful

The new friendship I mentioned in my prior post has blossomed in ways I only could have dreamed.  (Someone please pinch me!)   How could I ever have been so blessed (again!) by someone that I feel so comfortable with?

The 'facade' has melted.  Each moment we spend together I find out a new nugget, a new story, a new twist that intrigues me even more.  We are trying to take it slow, not jump in too fast, and to just enjoy each day.  After all, what's the rush?

But there was one special moment not so long ago that I will never forget:  he told me he loved me.  LOVED me!   When I close my eyes, I still see exactly how he looked at me and it makes my stomach swim.  Oh my goodness!  My heart sang and my spirit soared to incredible heights....  

He has the ability to make me feel sixteen again!

He is so good to me.  He wants me to be happy!   (Amazing!)  And I the same for him.  I want to find ways to spoil him, if he will let me, because he most certainly spoils me!   I want to be his very best friend.  That is what we are working towards.  Because that is what makes things last with indelible beauty.

Life has not always been kind to either of us, no matter how hard we tried to make fairy tale endings.  But life continues to present another chance for us.

We have time.

Happy New Year, New Beginnings

Ironically and quite marvelously, I have found a new 'friend.'  Not by accident or chance, he has come by way of introduction.

He's almost too perfect in some ways.  Driven.  Fit.  Funny.  Successful.

Some of it scares me.

A lot.

We've only been out a handful of times, to date.  But my mind can't stop thinking of dates to come.  Shared moments filled with emotions I haven't felt in a long, long time.  It scares me to think that way, yet I know I have to freely put my true self out there, on the line, vulnerable.  It is only by vulnerability that can I expect the same.

And therein lies my hesitation.  He has been perfect in perfecting the facade, the personality, the shell.  He's worked hard at it for for many years, perhaps his life (?) yet I can feel the shield, the barrier that he hides behind.  Was it created by design or though anguish?  I don't know.  I just hope I have the softness of spirit, the kindness of soul to melt down through it and find the man that hides inside.